The life changing magic of not giving a f*ck

I recommended this book not that long ago, so I decided to go into it more and explain why I love it so much.

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck 

If you are a yes person (IYKYK!) then this book is definitely for you!

I used to be such a people pleaser.  I now have a very different outlook.

In very simple terms, this book basically says you have (for example) 10 f*cks you can give in a day.  You need to choose where you give those f*cks.  If someone is looking for your time and energy and they don’t appreciate you, or are only looking to serve themselves, then it’s a polite ‘no thanks’.

Now on the other hand, if your best friend asks you to do something that you really don’t want to, but you love her and she’s totally worth it, then you give one of your ‘f*cks’.

For me, this applies in work, too.  When clients ask for something, I can assess and see whether it’s something our team can go out of our way to provide, or I can say no and refer to someone who can help.  This isn’t from a place of ‘I can’t be bothered’.  This is from a place of “I am respecting the teams’ boundaries and looking after everyone’s well-being and energy’.

In life, we encounter a myriad of individuals who come into our circles. Some people leave us feeling invigorated, motivated, and ready to take on the world, while others leave us feeling exhausted, drained, and emotionally depleted. It’s important to recognise the impact that the people around us can have on our overall well-being and success. 

This comes back to what I constantly say about surrounding yourself with individuals who uplift and energise you.  It is essential for personal growth, business growth, happiness, and a sense of fulfilment. 

We all know an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are people who constantly complain, criticise, or bring negativity into your life. 

They may be overly demanding, emotionally needy, or always caught up in their own problems. 

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with certain people. Do they leave you feeling drained, frustrated, or downcast? Recognising the energy vampires in your life is crucial for making positive changes.

These are the people that you generally do not give one of your f’s to!

And this can still be done with love, kindness and without being rude.  As the book explains, you can choose to say no politely, unapologetically, but still with integrity.

Once you’ve identified the individuals who drain your energy, it’s time to cultivate positive relationships with people who uplift and inspire you. Seek out individuals who radiate positivity, enthusiasm, and a genuine interest in your well-being. Look for friends, mentors, or colleagues who share your values, support your goals, and encourage personal growth. Surrounding yourself with these individuals will not only boost your energy but also enhance your own optimism and drive.

These tend to be the people that you do give your f’s to!

But it is still important to set boundaries.

Creating healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of maintaining positive relationships. Be clear about your needs and establish limits with people who tend to drain your energy. 

Communicate assertively and respectfully about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. 

It’s okay to distance yourself from toxic individuals who consistently drain your energy and don’t respect your boundaries.

Giving a f*ck generally means you then need to take action and use up time, energy and other resources to help someone else.

Realise just how precious they are!  Don’t give them away willy-nilly, or when you need to give one to someone or something that truly matters, you’ll have nothing left in the bank to give.

This is essentially putting self-care into practice.

You are protecting your time, your energy and your well-being.

So the next time someone asks you for a favour, ask yourself, ‘Do I really want to give a f*ck?’.

Much Love, Sam x