Stop Apologising

I see it all the time. People apologising for things that don’t need an apology. 

Do you ever find that you sometimes end up apologising to a client for something that they’ve asked you to do that is not within your capabilities?  Whether due to time restraint, not the right skillset or you simply don’t want to do it, you don’t need to apologise.

Ever had to release a client because they just weren’t the right fit for you and ended up saying sorry and giving multiple reasons why and then feeling really bad for it?

Do you sheepishly plead with your eyes for having to exit a zoom call because the school has rang you for the third time in a row?

Stop.

If my phone rings while I’m on a zoom (I have alerts on for school numbers) I don’t apologise.  A polite “please excuse me while I take this school call” is all I say.

If I have to release a client, I do so lovingly, and without apology.  

If a client asks me if I can do something that I can’t do or don’t want to do, a simple “we don’t offer that as a service, but I know someone who does if you’d like me to introduce you” is perfect.

As long as what you’re saying or writing comes from a place of integrity and love, you don’t need to apologise for making good decisions for yourself, your family or your business.

I found as a mother in the employee world, I used to apologise all the time.

“Sorry I need to take some time off, my son isn’t well today.”

“Sorry I can’t make that working-lunch meeting, I need to collect my son’s prescription on my lunch break.’’

“Sorry I can’t come to the Christmas party, my childcare was cancelled last minute.”

When I first started working for myself in 2016, instead of apologising that I couldn’t do something or didn’t have the capacity, I became a ‘yes’ person, saying yes to all requests and working myself into the ground to make sure I got it done.

I quickly realised that I had replaced saying sorry with another problem, and that had to stop too (but that’s a story for a different day!) 

So as I moved through the years in my business, I became very comfortable with not saying sorry.  Saying sorry implies you’ve done something wrong and that brings with it a feeling of guilt.

I don’t need to feel guilty because I have 3 children that have needs and require my time.

I don’t need to feel guilty that I want to take time away from my business.

And I don’t need to feel guilty about making the right decisions for me, my business and my family.

So the next time you’re about to say the words “I’m sorry but…”

Stop!  

Remember your beliefs, your values, and your boundaries.  Respect those, and say what you need to say with integrity, and unapologetically.